it's been a month. feels as if i only blog once a month. oh well, i guess that makes each blog more worthwhile. it's been a long month. too long perhaps. so long that its starting to hurt. everyday is passing by so slowly. why cant it be july now?
badminton and field events have taken up my two weeks holiday. at night, my body aches to an extend where all i can do is cry in my sleep. yet in the mornings, endurance and faith keeps me striving for more.
i'm a dry sponge, a friend said. no matter how much water you pour on me, i'm always craving for more. i'm always wanting more and there's never a day i am full. i agree. with that thought in mind, i am able to strive for what i want. what i need. what i can't get enough of : badminton.
some people find this obssession crazy, some people find this obssession interesting. i find this obssession the only thing that keeps me going on. mind you, this is really how i feel. if you think i'm boosting, fuck off. :)
i dont know why, but everything is so messed up for me now. i feel so angry everyday. i feel so... so... tired of everything that is going on. i've been having thoughts of quiting more than i thought i would. i'm not enjoying this anymore...
when you're so certain of something and someone comes over and crushes that thought, it actually hurts. not that i've never been down that road before but yeah, it hurts. there are so many obstacles in my way that i feel so suffocated. i feel that i cant breathe and its tearing me apart. it's eating me alive.
whatever. i'm not exactly in a position to complain tho i am really tempted to. but then i tell myself. "maybe it's just been a long month, whitney. it'll all be over soon." but when is "soon"? will "soon" ever arrive? i dont know.
guess what crazy people? i'm losing weight. :) further details will not be discussed.
my bitches and i actually got into a fight the other day. but we patched things up and this time, i was the middle man. go figure.
i'm tired. morning badminton training. afternoon discus and shortputt training. my body is at its peak of falling apart. i really dont know how long i can hold on anymore.
Q: "what about your love life, whitney? c'mon. give us a hint."
A: "espera um pouco, meu amor."
trust me. it's a good hint. :)
i guess that's about it so far. will update this place again when more interesting things happen. so far, it's just badminton, discus, shortputt, me and my pillow :)
whitney. signing out
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