life will never be short of drama and from every death we encounter and cry over, we learn over and over again the hard way that - life is not to be taken lightly. when you lose someone you love, you mourn not because you can't bear to let them go but it's because of the mere fact that they'll never ever be in your presence physically ever again. that lesson, i recently learnt the hard way.
it's not like i havent been through deaths in a family. i lost my grandfather 6 years ago. i lost my step grandmother 3 years ago. this time around, i lost my great grandmother. they're always hard for me to live by and impossible to forget. just mere days ago, i saw greatgrandma for the second time in my life. before i could hope for a third, she was gone. they say that she left when no one was by her bedside. i guess we can all assume that she just didn't want us to go through the trauma of the line going flat. witnessing it and hearing about it later on is 2 completely different feelings. i've always been the latter.
it's amazing how when you're occupied with things, you have so many inspiration to write on this blog. well not you, but me. and now that i'm actually here, everything is like drifting away. which is quite lame la.
anyways i was blog surfing and i jumped to xif's blog. his recent post really got to me. expressing the things that i previously wanted to say during the loong-jac saga crap that i couldn't. well i guess my english is not pro enough lo. anyhow, i have his permission to some of his words here. to me, they are unidentified emotions that i were never ever able to put to words. and xif did it not intentionally on my behalf. thanks xif :)
Parts from Xif under post: The Unknown
"There are those who you just feeling like crying, because of the hurt and pain you feel from the heart. It makes you wonder why things ended up this way, it makes you feel helpless because it is like nothing you can ever do to patch everything back together.
There are those who makes you laugh foolishly at your own, telling yourself "what the hell was I thinking". Knowing that obsession blinds a person, but yet you don't stop yourself from falling in, until it is too deep that you hurt yourself hard, realizing that a part of you is broken and chipped off."
GOSH! i almost freaking cried.
anyways, as of right now, the blog feeling is gone and hence, i shan't continue because i guess whatever i write afterwards is going to sound like crap. i even began using la and lo on top. -_- ah wells :/
i am not afraid to admit my flaw. hate me for it, all you f*ing haters out there but i don't really f*ing care anymore.
perfected @ 1227.
whi.
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