je vous vois.

i vowed to myself never to write 2 posts in a day. today is an exception.

i promised this post won't be long.
i just needed a place to release this pain.

i opened msn. to my surprise, i saw something i never wanted to see. the last thing i wanted to see today... not today... was right in front of my face. i can't get that image out of my head. a brain has no corners so it's basically standing in the middle. i'm in pain and my superman is gone.

i regretted. i regretted looking for someone to chat with on msn. i regretted ever even signing in. now, the big cut is there, right in the middle of my heart. the pain, so unbearable.

fuck my previous post. i'm crying now. what to do? i expected too much from myself. too too much in a day. what was i thinking? did i think i was really able to forget this person that i have put my effort for for the past 8 months? pff. i must be joking.

yeah, i'm an emotional wreck. thank god someone invented blogger.
dear friends, if you read this, don't tell me. i don't wanna know you did. this post is strictly private and if you comment, i swear i'll fuck you.

enough. i had enough of being the dumb bitch. i had enough of being played. i had enough of taking orders from people that have no right to control my life. enough. enough is enough. i am taking control of my own life now. i am not in control. i am ugly for acting this way. i am a piece of shit. i am not me. NOT ME. you see this? I AM NOTHING. I AM NOBODY. I AM A LOSER.





nothing/nobody/loser. signing out.