sorry about the death scare. i thought i had breast cancer. turns out to be nothing.
thank god.
the end.

i'm back home. which is great and not great at the same time. i love being home. especially being in my room. i hate being home too. especially when my room is so small and cramped with so much crap. dang. i need a bigger room. pronto.

i tried to be a bit active on facebook today. usually nowadays, all i do on facebook is play Country Story, Sorority Life, Crazy Taxi and Crazy Planets... LOL. okay, i feel so no life right now. whatever, i plan to be less no life soon so hopefully, it'll all work out :)

a few days ago. i had an aquaintance break up with a friend of mine. i'm not sure which way was which way but yeah, they didn't make it. pity, because they looked so good together. i can't help but feel sorry for them. i want so bad to reach out to him but then again, i'm sure the last thing he needs is a reminder of what has happened and on top of it all, we're not even that close.

if i could, i'd like to tell him that he's not alone. there are plenty brokenheartians like us out there who are waiting for the right person to come along again. when something like this happen, we have to have hope that everything would one day be okay. or at least, those of us who are still hanging here are hoping for that everyday.

if she can find happiness, then i can too. if he can find happiness, then i'm sure i can too. or at least, that's what i think some people think.

there too, are other of us who prefer to carry on with life alone. nothing really moving forward, yet not really not moving at all. it's all about compromising with that broken side of you and of course, distractions.

where do i fit in? i'm not really sure yet. i guess we'll just have to wait and see. i strongly believe in the 5 stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger/Resentment
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

i'm somewhere between 4 and 5. there's no more hate in me - which is awesome. i don't believe we'll be able to go back so i'm pass bargaining. i believe the stages are a cycle actually. once you've gotten 5, you come back to 1 and you start the cycle all over again. so yeah, i keep roaming around stages 4, 5 and 1. not cool. DO NOT WANT. haha.

anyhow, i'm doing my best. we all are, at this point, i'm sure. forgetting a person is never easy and so, i hope my aquaintance is doing alright. i wish you all the best - my heart goes out to you.

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