okay, i know i said i died but aren't you glad i'm not? :p
maybe some of you want me to die but i'm not dead so HEH! try better next time :p
before i say anything, let me just freak out for a bit, kay?
COUNTDOWN: 5 HOURSSSSS!~!~!~!~!~! :D:D:D:D
seriously flipping right now! :)
okay, back to business. so yesterday night (HAHA!) was quite a fun night for me. he said he had never laughed like that in a long time, actually, neither have i - with anyone besides my family.
since the you-know-what incident, i keep to myself most of the time - shielding my mind from anything that could harm me. my only shelter was my family and having being made to choose between pain or nothing - i chose nothing. it was really nice to let go and let everything out and just breathe again. i haven't felt this easy in a few good months. i'll say, it's good to be back :)
but, doing things like that came with consequences. i knew the consequences was coming but still, a part of me decided to take the risk and do it. the consequence was - another sleepless night. i remember the nightmares and how i'd leave the florescent light on to convince myself to sleep. how i'd roll myself up like a sushi with two layers of blanket and putting the split unit at 16deg and convince myself: 'sleeping today is going to be easier than yesterday.'
yesterday night was very similar. though, it was good to know that even though it took me 3 hours to fall asleep and stop myself from crying, i still slept with the lights off :)
i just felt good to do it again. in case you were wondering what "it" is, it's not SEX OR ANY CRAP! eish, please don't get the wrong idea. it was just merely having a conversation - in a way that became a habit for a long time a few months ago. reliving it was fun, though it was with the wrong person - it was still really awesome that that person was you. you know who you are, mr.pillowtalk. HAHA! :x
even though towards the end, it was hard - it was good while it lasted. it was good for that few hours and how time flew. we talked for like 4 hours didcha know? woah! and i was listening to some crap Celine Dion lyrics and i found a song that was quite perfect for you, friend.
dear mr. pillowtalk, (HAHAHAHAHA!)
thank you for being there for me last night at my most lamest possible angry moment. it was really nice to be finally talking like this again. i can't begin to explain how long i had tried to bottle everything out and yesterday night, you really saved me from bursting. thank you and it's really great to have you as a friend - even though your voice is kinda weird :/ hehehe :p
p.s: i know i'm the first person to say that you're cool so i hope i'll be the first or ONE OF the first people to say that - you're a really good friend and an absolutely spot on listener :)
love loads,
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
hmm. if you knew how mr.pillowtalk looked like - imagine him naked with an adult pampers and angel wings and a halo :O hahahahaha! ;) this song is for you! :)
classics i know i know, i'm quite old-fashioned in the music area so SUE ME~
No Mountains too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray
And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way, let me show you a better day
And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And I know we will survive
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
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