je vous vois.

location: school library.

i know i shouldn't be doing this in school but might as well do it now while i'm still feeling so inspired. i don't know if i've said this before or not but i've always got something to say. sometimes, i do say it here and while others, i just run out of the inspiration to and then forget it. forgetting is not good so DO NOT WANT that. it's about 1.45pm now even though the library computer says its 10.43pm, and i'm here because i have a prefect meeting to attend later on (yeah, can you believe it? i might actually be a prefect :O). a smackdown is not the best way to start a day. and i've never actually smackdown-ed anyone before. i don't really know the real meaning of the word 'smackdown' but to me, i guess it means a major confrontation. i really didn't want it. trust me, but soemtimes, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to defend herself. i didn't want to do it but i felt that this time, i finally did the right thing.

so yeah, as usual, i'm not going to name names. i have to admit i don't really like her from the beginning but i would never have been unprofessional about it. maybe it was because i was wrong before and i had taken rage the unprofessional way but not this time and hopefully never again in the future. so yeah, the teacher who was supposed to be teaching at that moment had to miss her class for our prefect meeting. so she asked me nicely to help her bring the transparencies up to the current Set in to which, i kindly accepted the responsibility. that teacher is an awesome teacher so, i would be wrong if i didn't carry out my task correctly. so yeah, i went into the class and there she was sitting amongst the crowd. and when she saw me, man, her eyes could have rolled to the back of her head. she gave me this hateful glare in which i professionally ignored because it was the right thing to do. as per the teacher, i had to make sure they copied the notes on the transparencies and that when they were done, the next set(which was my set) had to copy the notes too. i had to leave so i had to make sure that the next set's people get the idea and will copy the notes too. the teacher told me that i had to MAKE SURE the notes don't go missing is passed back to me at the end of the day. while i was making sure, BAM! she hit me.

well, she didn't really HIT me. she looked really impatient and had this disgusting look on her face. i'm sure anyone and everyone would be able to tell if they were disliked so yeah, i could tell. and she said:

"just leave the paper on the table." -roll eyes and still had the disgusting look-

being interrupted like that, i felt very offended. i wouldn't have taken it personally if i hadn't known that she had been backstabbing me all this while. she tells everybody especially my friends how much a bitch i am and etc. i'm pretty sure she knows that i know she hates me and to which i actually don't give a damn but at that moment, i snapped.

"if you have something against me personally then we can talk about it later. but now, i am here on behalf of teacher XXX and my job is to make sure i get the notes back later." i said calmly.

i know it may seem like i'm trying to make myself look like a hero but this is facts, PEOPLE. i'm really not lying, this was how it went down. you can ask all the other 20 over kids in the room and hopefully, they will tell you exactly the same thing.

"who has a problem with you?" -roll eyes- "who wants to copy these notes anyways?" -roll eyes and waved hand and stomped off-

and i was left standing there looking like a dumb ass. i felt the rage boiling in me and for a moment there i really wanted to slap after her and just yell at her for doing that to me. but i didn't. i made sure the notes would be properly together and given to the next set properly and left.

oh believe me, there were so many moments in which i really wanted to tell the teacher to screw her and not appoint her as a prefect. but i have decided now, against it. i've handled this kind of people before. and i've gone through years of being in the same class with a person i don't like and still come out alive at the end of the journey. with that in mnid, i'm sure i can do it again.

but it's just that, i've never smackdown-ed anyone before. it's just this rush of adrenaline that did it.

and before you know it, almost everyone in the humanities stream knew about this little smackdown.

i will stand firm and say thank you to God for giving me the patience and letting me see what i was going to lose had i really gone after her or told anyone official about this. if i went after her, i would have surrendered to rage. if i told anyone official, i would be cast as the weakling and the lame crap who can't handle anything herself - and HOPEFULLY, we all know i'm not like that. well, i KNOW i'm not like that.

i dedicate this post to her. thank you, for giving me my first smackdown and making me realize that my temper is something i can control. i've always felt very shaky about myself and now i am sure. hopefully, i will be able to look back to this awesome experience and always remember that i'm that little bit more mature now and that i'm that little bit more professional now.

i want to be a good person. i want to be a leader. i want to be a person everybody can trust and depend on. with the guidance of God, my family and friends - i know i will and can be.