how you heartlessly ripped my heart out and threw all my love for you into the deep blue sea.
sometimes i feel so hollow and empty.
like all that's left inside is a big black hole that sucks in everything else.
a big black pit of darkness where nothing exists and nothing is real.
i promised myself that i would never let myself go there again.
yet again and again, i fall back into your trap.
trusting you again and again with my heart when i never should have in the first place.
i've been broken beyond repair and that's a fact i wish i could change but i can't.
it's ironic how i thought going through a break up was bad.
how that break up was only like licking salt compared to what i'm going through now.
nothing will ever make me forget this pain and the complications that come with it.
the inability to trust, love and sympathize again.
half the time, well most of the time, i think i'm crazy.
stalking around because i know no other ways to protect you.
i wish i could explain to you the level of pain i'm going through.
and how i wish i could make myself trust you again like you think i could.
i keep telling myself i have a goal in life, i have a goal in life, i have a goal in life.
but i honestly don't see it.
i don't see my purpose in life. i don't know why i'm here.
i can't see myself 10 years from now. i can't see myself 1 year from now. i can't see myself tomorrow.
my heart has been asleep for so long. i didn't know reawakening it would hurt so bad.
why did i have to keep stabbing my heart? why do i keep putting myself through this misery?
i hope i don't ever get the answer.
i don't plan to live long enough to ever find it.
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