je vous vois.

i remember a long time ago, i wrote something chinese-y on my blog. wait, i didn't post it on my blog, it was just some email. it was probably the last time i cleaned my email (making a mental note to clean it later) too. there was this email for me that had chinese and english in it. i wonder if i'll be able to trace it back after having to not look into for months and months but yes, there were some chinese in that email and i remember, laugh out loud, making you read it aloud for me. i wonder if i remembered it wrongly but i knew you were extremely embarressed. i also remember that was probably one of the first time i thought you were so adorable. and that how at the every start of the day, when i woke up to your voice or the notes you left, i fall in love with you all over again.

today was a down day for me. i'm all out of tears and i'm all but lost. i can't believe after so long, it still hurts to talk about you. and when i said i missed you, that would probably be a wrong statement because even if i don't realize it, subconciously, i still miss you - everyday.

i still hope you don't come around. you don't need to see me like this. and if you do come around, i hope the chinese creeps you out and you'll decide to close instead of reading on.